I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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