did you get engaged???
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
