the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
