READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
