just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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