I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
