I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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