so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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