Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize