Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
