she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
