I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize