I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize