she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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