I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
