well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
