last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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