A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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