i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
