covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
