i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
