He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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