Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
