I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Im part way to drunk.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
