I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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