i barfeds in our rink
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
