$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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