It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
