i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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