Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
