I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
