Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
