Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
