I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
