I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize