Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
