The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
