STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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