IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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