There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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