Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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