im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
