I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
