watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Randomize
