it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize