wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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