i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
