I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Come share oat with me in your robe
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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