It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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