you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
