Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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