He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
