I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
