bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
