i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
