i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
