Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
