I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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