I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
