How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
