batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
